Furlough is good for a time of review and self-evaluation. There are four areas that I have been challenged in personally that I want to work on, especially now that we have returned to China.
(1) Attitude – Moving to China has been my dream and it still is. I dream of what God can and will do in China. But somewhere along the way I let my guard down and let small negative thoughts creep into my life and give me a bad attitude. It has helped me to stop and step back as I look at the big picture and realize I had a bad attitude in certain situations. I have repented of this and I am ready to move forward with the Lord’s help.
(2) Prayer – Prayer is hard for me. After hearing another preacher tell of his struggle with prayer, it encouraged me that I wasn’t the only one. I have seen God answer so many prayers since being in China but I need to be more disciplined in this area of my life.
(3) Witness – I think the shyness of the language caused me to overlook so many opportunities that I was given. Don’t get me wrong, I was preaching the gospel every week but I wasn’t taking opportunity of daily conversations and opportunities. If it is my time and life, then I could use it for myself, but if my time and life is God’s then I should use it for him.
(4) Family – I have failed at properly leading my family. I failed at developing the proper attitudes and taking the proper amount of time to lead and nurture my family through a tough transition. The Lord has been so good to us and we are privileged to serve him. There is a spiritual battle taking place. The devil would love to destroy our family and set off a bomb that would hurt all around us. I need to keep my guard up: lead, watch, pray!
Those are my confessions and things that I have learned over furlough. I thank the Lord for teaching me and allowing me to continue to serve him. I don’t won’t to do anything else with my life. I want to be sold out for him!