If you have been following the series of events that have been taking place in our lives, then you understand somewhat of the journey that we are on. If you are seeing this just now, you can catch up here:
- December 5, 2019: Heartbroken
- November 17, 2019: Urgent: Persecution Continues. We Need Your Help And Prayers!
I feel like there is a lot to say but at the same time I feel at a loss for words. Writing things down seem to help. It helps me think through what I am feeling and helps you to know what I am thinking and how to pray.
What I have been going through seems to be a mourning. Deep sorrow at the death of a dream. And as I thought about this more, I also recognize the familiar pattern, a gospel-pattern if you will, that is taking place. There are three stages.
The Death of a Dream (Crisis)
Something in your life happens that drastically changes everything around you or the course of events that your were planning on taking. The doors have been shut. The pathway has changed. It seems you have come to a dead end. Everything in life is shaken up and you are struck down to your core. Even if you did or didn’t see this coming, death strikes and this stage happens instantly and things are forever changed.
The Burial of a Dream (Mourning)
Once everything happens, you move into a period of mourning. No one enjoys the burial or the funeral. It is a time of mourning. Mourning is not fun. Nor is it wrong. It is natural and necessary. It shows that of a caring heart. And it should cause us to refocus our attention to the Heavenly Father (Read: Psalm 62:5-8). For there is a right way and a wrong way to mourn.
The wrong way focuses on self and what “I” lost. It grieves but doesn’t follow the Bibles admonition to “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27). It lets the grief turn to sin through wrong attitudes, words and actions. Loosing temper. Irritable. Mad. But we should not allow this to turn to sin. I failed in the past couple weeks. To my family I am sorry for not mourning well.
These thoughts helped me: This is a time of testing, putting everything you believe to the test. Will you mourn well? Suffer well? Remember this isn’t all about you. Others around you are hurting too. They need to see you mourn well. They need to see you suffer well. They need your patients. They need encouragement. They need to see the positive. They need to see how a man of God responds when he is stressed to the max. They need to see your mourning yet without sin.
And stress is maxed. Mourning. Plus the culture shock of setting up in a new place, new food, language nuances, new traffic and navigation, plus the care of our family in the midst of all of it. The stress of having to purchase “everything” again, and not knowing how it is all going to be paid for. Having part of your stuff in another country. Having to do all new paperwork and documents just to get bank accounts and visas.
I am being raw at the moment. And maybe too raw, but that is what has been happening.
Yet, at the same time I know what I needed to do. Refocus that attention off of self and back on to the Lord and live by faith…even in this. These verses are helping me get focused:
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Psalm 61:2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Matthew 28:20 …and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight:)
Psalm 16:1 Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
Psalm 16:8-9 I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.KJV
(More on mourning well may come in another post.)
The Resurrection of a Dream (Victory)
We can’t stay in that place of mourning. For a person who doesn’t know God, there is death and mourning. But for a believer, our story doesn’t end there…there is a resurrection.
We have hope. We have trusting God’s plan. Resurrection leads to something better and greater.
I have been through the death, I am in the burial, but I know the resurrection is coming…